I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
