you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
