Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
