Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
