I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
