we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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