Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
