Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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