She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
