whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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