My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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