you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
its liver damage thursday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
