have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize