Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
