you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
