it was like his penis was on wheels.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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