I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Randomize
