You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
