it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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