Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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