I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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