Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
