Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
