OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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