My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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