So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
