By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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