ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
