oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
