That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
