you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
