i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
