I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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