Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
