It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
