I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
