Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
