i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
