I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
