I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
