i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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