Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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