Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
