I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
