so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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