You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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