My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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