Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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