Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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