just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize