We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
