Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
