Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
