you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
