So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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