I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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