You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
