People in love make me want to vomit
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
