If i come over, it means nothing
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
